Today I make a choice. I make this choice knowing that there is the chance that how it is going to turn out I may end up paying the ultimate price. Why was it I make this choice then? Why would someone do something knowing they may die? Well, it isn’t for the thrill of it because there is no rush of adrenaline that will a good one at any point during the situation; the adrenaline that will be produced is from pure fear and not the fun kind like skydiving. So again why? I do it because I am a social worker.
I risk my life and my death for that matter because of my course in life. While there will be police there I can't ask a frail, old man who has been so beaten down and mentally abused to suffer alone this event. His wife has twisted and controlled his mind to the point where she has him convinced he will go to prison, not just one of his mind cause by her control, but one of concrete and steel. While there will be police there to protect, help, and prevent harm, they will be there only to protect his body. I can't leave him to the cops and risk the destruction of the part of this man that isn't his physical. And I again I can’t ask him to go through the situation alone. Just as the cops do I have a responsibility to protect. help and prevent harm. Not the same as a cop, not the man's body or life, but his mind, his heart, and his soul. The simple fact is this is who I am.
To all those I love, I hope that none of you are mad, mad due to thinking I am choosing a client's mental safety over the future with you. What I can say is this action is because of the person that I am, and had I not done this well then I wouldn't be the man you love, I wouldn't have been acting as the man you wanted to spend your life with, I wouldn't have been being the son, brother and friend you all were so proud of. I would've been a different man and thus not me.
This was at no point a choice that I made easily, nor was it something that I took lightly in doing. It is simply something that I have to do. No, it isn't the description of a social worker to risk their life, but it is who I am, it is a part of the description of what makes me, me.
Shortly after writing this I went to make coffee and I looked at the clock and saw it was 12:34am. I seem to see this time a lot when I am not sure what I should do so as I had a few hours prior to leaving and couldn’t sleep I Googled it (yes I am that guy you all know that) and this is what I found.
"1234 - If you are repeatedly seeing ascending number sequences such as 1234, this is a sign from the angels for you to make progress. You will see this sign when thinking about an area of your life that you are concerned about and want to change. Seeing this number sequence immediately after these thoughts is a sign that this is the right course of action for you and you will have the angels support in its pursuit." http://concentricclothing.com/blog-post/numerology-number-sequences-from-the-angels
“1234, 234, 345- If you are repeatedly seeing ascending number sequences such as 1234, this is a sign from your Spirit Guides that these are progressive thoughts. You will see this sign when thinking about an area of your life that you are concerned about and want to change, or thinking about a particular subject. Seeing this number sequence immediately after these thoughts is a sign that your thoughts are progressive; your life will progress by following these thoughts and you will have your Spirit Guides support in its pursuit.” http://www.spiritual-path.com/numerology.htm
I take this as a sign that I should go today, I plan to have a police escort and will talk with the client first and explain the situation and why I chose to bring them. The fact they aren't there to arrest or hurt him but ensure that he and I are safe due to all of the situations that are going on. Do I know the wisdom of this decision? No I have no idea what will happen, if this is the right choice or the wrong, but it is the path I feel I must walk.